


Unspoken

by orphan_account



Series: Writethehousedown's summer fic challenge [7]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, TW implied death/suicide, but it's sad and u all know i love sad poetry, jan is sad, this makes no sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:46:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24838654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The bath’s her own personal Pacific, she adds rose petals as makeshift coral and keeps a bottle of vodka on the ledge like bubble bath.
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Series: Writethehousedown's summer fic challenge [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770604
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> This makes no sense but this series not being finished gives me anxiety lol. So the final prompt for this challenge was 'swim', I hope if you read any of this series that you enjoyed, and I'll hopefully be back to do the next challenge! xoxo

She’s not swimming. She’s drowning.

The water invites her in with a gentle hand, yet the look on its face is demonic. Snow White’s Wicked Witch had nothing on this, but yet, just like the tragic princess, she’s old enough to know better, but desperate enough to follow.

It’s cold enough to bring her back to life. Cold enough to kill her.

Jackie’s at home, on dry land, where the only waves falling over her head come from her thick mane of brunette hair. The bed’s high enough not to drag her under with the tide, but as Jan lays on the sand; she’s wishing to be swept away.

Her life was good. She travelled along like a lazy river with a pool float and Jackie’s hand. It was steady, predictable. Everything she now isn’t.

She’s a storm at sea, and the lifeguard’s oblivious to what’s happening outside his tower. She hasn’t swum for a long time, so it’s no surprise when the depression in her veins sinks her like an anchor, weighted yet symbolic.

Unlike an anchor, however, Jan was sure nobody would want a tattoo of her. Her mother wouldn’t get her birth date; Jackie wouldn’t sit and cry in the studio as a dove was inked onto her thigh. They didn’t deserve to carry that with them.

Jackie’s a good girl, she really is. She says and does all the right things at all the right times, she treats Jan well and holds her at night. Jan wants to set her free, tell her to swim far, far away with grace. She doesn’t deserve to feel guilty, to feel like she could’ve saved her. Secondary drowning’s a  _ bitch  _ and it’s not her fault.

The bath’s her own personal Pacific, she adds rose petals as makeshift coral and keeps a bottle of vodka on the ledge like bubble bath. It’s so overdone and she doesn’t want to taint Whitney’s name, so she doesn’t let herself.

She’s drowning and no matter how many times Jackie makes her watch Aladdin, no genie’s going to save her now. She will sink, tied to her chair, pushed off the ledge by the villains in her mind. And that’s how she’ll be remembered. A girl who loved the water so much, she let it take her away.


End file.
